The Problem With Chocolate

The more I stare at the beautifully wrapped box of Godiva goodness in front of me, the more I feel compelled to write this piece. There are a lot of things going through my mind right now, and to put it simply, I'm shocked. I never thought there'd come a time when I'd have a serious problem with free chocolate.

We've all heard it before: if it's your coworker's birthday, buy her chocolate. If you need a last minute mother's day gift, head to the chocolate aisle. If your girlfriend starts screaming at you for no apparent reason, seriously consider keeping a stash of chocolate around at all times. (Maybe also consider seeing a relationship counsellor.) But the point is, the gift of chocolate is a great one, for no matter what event or which female recipient. But is it really?

I'd like to take a moment to scowl at society. Who thought it was a good idea to standardize the giving of chocolate to women on every occasion and then shine a searing spotlight on physical appearance?

And so begins the conundrum: a kind-hearted soul gives a woman a box of chocolate. What does she do with it? She has several options.
Option 1: she eats the chocolate, but then feels guilty for indulging and becomes increasingly self-conscious about her body.
Option 2: she puts the chocolates on a shelf and they sit there, prettily collecting dust until they expire. She feels bad for letting them go to waste.
Option 3: she gives them away to the next girl when the next appropriate occasion rolls around (she doesn't have to wait very long). Again, she feels bad for not appreciating the gift. She's also just pushing her troubles to the people around her, and that's not going to solve anything.

At this point, you, being the keen observer that you are, note that none of the aforementioned scenarios end in a completely satisfying manner. The solution to the chocolate problem, in my opinion, comes not from the poor recipient of the chocolate, but from the kind giver. In no way do I wish to deter these generous people from expressing themselves through gifts, don't get me wrong, but there are endless things in the world to offer! There are practical, unique, and meaningful things, from home decor to office supplies to electronic gadgets to daily accessories. So please, challenge yourselves. If it's your coworker's birthday, buy her some of that really neat yarn because you know she loves to knit. If you need a last minute mother's day gift, look into the newest novel by her favourite author. If your girlfriend starts screaming at you for no apparent reason, give her a handwritten letter or a teddy bear to hold. (Still keep your relationship counsellor's number around, just in case.)

So please, think twice before you beeline to the chocolates section next time you have to pick out a gift. Anything remotely personalized is better than the generic, and who knows, you might save her a lot more hassle than you think.