Finding Love

I have to admit, it's been a hard few months.

Recently, things have been feeling off. Something was eating at me from the inside, and I had no idea what it was, other than the fact that this feeling was just so... wrong.

The girl I was for this past while was someone undeniably familiar, but considerably unsettling. The girl was distant, looking at the world with a kind of yearning as if she wanted to speak but was willing herself not to. She walked on glass, and got cuts on her feet because of it. She would huddle in corners and try to convince herself to get back up and keep walking, despite the tears pooling in her eyes.

And then I realized, the girl was scared.

This was the girl who had been bullied as a child. She was the girl who struggled to maintain a calm composure and genuine smile to the world but crumbled into broken pieces as soon as she was alone because she just couldn't figure out why she was treated that way. She was the girl who let fear worm its way into her fragile heart because she had no idea how to keep it out.

This was the girl who could never love herself because she was consumed by fear.

For the past few months, the fear fed off her insecurities and got stronger. It controlled her every move, laughed at her hesitations, and reveled in her failures. It pushed her into a labyrinth of darkness and she got more and more lost with every deceptively wrong turn. And then, the most miraculous thing happened.

The girl found hope.

She found hope in a douse of late-night honesty, a lighthouse that revealed the thorn-covered walls of the labyrinth, growing thicker and sharper ahead of her. She came to a realization so sudden that the maleficent fear was shocked into momentary silence by the impact. The glimmer of hope coaxed her out of the shadows, step by tentative step. And then, the most miraculous thing happened.

The girl found love.

She found love in the midst of glitter and sharpies, where tiny flames and friendly smiles began to melt the tyrannous presence in her chest. She felt admired and supported in a way that was never there before, and it was beautiful.

She found love on a wintry adventure, surrounded by stories and laughter. She was shown a place that inspired her to give all she has to offer, and be lifted up by the perseverance all around her. She felt motivated and refreshed in a way that she hadn't for so long, and it was incredible.

.
.
.

The girl lit a candle, and watched as the little flame blossomed, lapping eagerly at the air and scattering silver and gold flecks across the room. She smiled, and for the first time in a long time, it was a genuine smile made with hope, beauty, inspiration, and love.