You know I can never help but roll my eyes at melodramatic professions, but in all honestly, they're a little lacking these days, and in any case, no hastily typed Facebook post could ever do this justice.
I'm so glad you're a part of my life. I'm so glad there is at least one person in the world with whom I can be completely unafraid to express myself. Thank you for sharing my passions, supporting my aspirations, and being such a huge part of my story.
We both know that the roller coaster of life doesn't always bring us skyward, but like you have always been there to see me through my falls, I am always going to be here to remind you of the following:
You are brilliant.
You are capable.
You will find success.
I am so proud of everything you do. and I am so immeasurably honoured to call you my best friend.
Thursday 9 April 2015
Saturday 14 March 2015
Siren
Some creatures' blood runs cold inside
But only where they can't be spied
For frozen hearts choose to reside
Where they cannot be shattered
For coolness is a villain's pride
But also wherein deep fears hide
Yet romance is an awful guide
So I can't be bothered
My lack of envy is implied
When lovers feel unsatisfied
With being all but starry-eyed
So much they'd not discovered
For I was once a blushing bride
Whose sacred knot became untied
By one who promised then who lied
And never quite recovered
Where cliff and icy sea collide
I gave my last breath to the tide
And with my heart my love has died
So I remain cold-blooded
But only where they can't be spied
For frozen hearts choose to reside
Where they cannot be shattered
For coolness is a villain's pride
But also wherein deep fears hide
Yet romance is an awful guide
So I can't be bothered
My lack of envy is implied
When lovers feel unsatisfied
With being all but starry-eyed
So much they'd not discovered
For I was once a blushing bride
Whose sacred knot became untied
By one who promised then who lied
And never quite recovered
Where cliff and icy sea collide
I gave my last breath to the tide
And with my heart my love has died
So I remain cold-blooded
Saturday 24 January 2015
Finding Love
I have to admit, it's been a hard few months.
Recently, things have been feeling off. Something was eating at me from the inside, and I had no idea what it was, other than the fact that this feeling was just so... wrong.
The girl I was for this past while was someone undeniably familiar, but considerably unsettling. The girl was distant, looking at the world with a kind of yearning as if she wanted to speak but was willing herself not to. She walked on glass, and got cuts on her feet because of it. She would huddle in corners and try to convince herself to get back up and keep walking, despite the tears pooling in her eyes.
And then I realized, the girl was scared.
This was the girl who had been bullied as a child. She was the girl who struggled to maintain a calm composure and genuine smile to the world but crumbled into broken pieces as soon as she was alone because she just couldn't figure out why she was treated that way. She was the girl who let fear worm its way into her fragile heart because she had no idea how to keep it out.
This was the girl who could never love herself because she was consumed by fear.
For the past few months, the fear fed off her insecurities and got stronger. It controlled her every move, laughed at her hesitations, and reveled in her failures. It pushed her into a labyrinth of darkness and she got more and more lost with every deceptively wrong turn. And then, the most miraculous thing happened.
The girl found hope.
She found hope in a douse of late-night honesty, a lighthouse that revealed the thorn-covered walls of the labyrinth, growing thicker and sharper ahead of her. She came to a realization so sudden that the maleficent fear was shocked into momentary silence by the impact. The glimmer of hope coaxed her out of the shadows, step by tentative step. And then, the most miraculous thing happened.
The girl found love.
She found love in the midst of glitter and sharpies, where tiny flames and friendly smiles began to melt the tyrannous presence in her chest. She felt admired and supported in a way that was never there before, and it was beautiful.
She found love on a wintry adventure, surrounded by stories and laughter. She was shown a place that inspired her to give all she has to offer, and be lifted up by the perseverance all around her. She felt motivated and refreshed in a way that she hadn't for so long, and it was incredible.
.
.
.
The girl lit a candle, and watched as the little flame blossomed, lapping eagerly at the air and scattering silver and gold flecks across the room. She smiled, and for the first time in a long time, it was a genuine smile made with hope, beauty, inspiration, and love.
Recently, things have been feeling off. Something was eating at me from the inside, and I had no idea what it was, other than the fact that this feeling was just so... wrong.
The girl I was for this past while was someone undeniably familiar, but considerably unsettling. The girl was distant, looking at the world with a kind of yearning as if she wanted to speak but was willing herself not to. She walked on glass, and got cuts on her feet because of it. She would huddle in corners and try to convince herself to get back up and keep walking, despite the tears pooling in her eyes.
And then I realized, the girl was scared.
This was the girl who had been bullied as a child. She was the girl who struggled to maintain a calm composure and genuine smile to the world but crumbled into broken pieces as soon as she was alone because she just couldn't figure out why she was treated that way. She was the girl who let fear worm its way into her fragile heart because she had no idea how to keep it out.
This was the girl who could never love herself because she was consumed by fear.
For the past few months, the fear fed off her insecurities and got stronger. It controlled her every move, laughed at her hesitations, and reveled in her failures. It pushed her into a labyrinth of darkness and she got more and more lost with every deceptively wrong turn. And then, the most miraculous thing happened.
The girl found hope.
She found hope in a douse of late-night honesty, a lighthouse that revealed the thorn-covered walls of the labyrinth, growing thicker and sharper ahead of her. She came to a realization so sudden that the maleficent fear was shocked into momentary silence by the impact. The glimmer of hope coaxed her out of the shadows, step by tentative step. And then, the most miraculous thing happened.
The girl found love.
She found love in the midst of glitter and sharpies, where tiny flames and friendly smiles began to melt the tyrannous presence in her chest. She felt admired and supported in a way that was never there before, and it was beautiful.
She found love on a wintry adventure, surrounded by stories and laughter. She was shown a place that inspired her to give all she has to offer, and be lifted up by the perseverance all around her. She felt motivated and refreshed in a way that she hadn't for so long, and it was incredible.
.
.
.
The girl lit a candle, and watched as the little flame blossomed, lapping eagerly at the air and scattering silver and gold flecks across the room. She smiled, and for the first time in a long time, it was a genuine smile made with hope, beauty, inspiration, and love.
Friday 1 August 2014
The Problem With Chocolate
The more I stare at the beautifully wrapped box of Godiva goodness in front of me, the more I feel compelled to write this piece. There are a lot of things going through my mind right now, and to put it simply, I'm shocked. I never thought there'd come a time when I'd have a serious problem with free chocolate.
We've all heard it before: if it's your coworker's birthday, buy her chocolate. If you need a last minute mother's day gift, head to the chocolate aisle. If your girlfriend starts screaming at you for no apparent reason, seriously consider keeping a stash of chocolate around at all times. (Maybe also consider seeing a relationship counsellor.) But the point is, the gift of chocolate is a great one, for no matter what event or which female recipient. But is it really?
I'd like to take a moment to scowl at society. Who thought it was a good idea to standardize the giving of chocolate to women on every occasion and then shine a searing spotlight on physical appearance?
And so begins the conundrum: a kind-hearted soul gives a woman a box of chocolate. What does she do with it? She has several options.
Option 1: she eats the chocolate, but then feels guilty for indulging and becomes increasingly self-conscious about her body.
Option 2: she puts the chocolates on a shelf and they sit there, prettily collecting dust until they expire. She feels bad for letting them go to waste.
Option 3: she gives them away to the next girl when the next appropriate occasion rolls around (she doesn't have to wait very long). Again, she feels bad for not appreciating the gift. She's also just pushing her troubles to the people around her, and that's not going to solve anything.
At this point, you, being the keen observer that you are, note that none of the aforementioned scenarios end in a completely satisfying manner. The solution to the chocolate problem, in my opinion, comes not from the poor recipient of the chocolate, but from the kind giver. In no way do I wish to deter these generous people from expressing themselves through gifts, don't get me wrong, but there are endless things in the world to offer! There are practical, unique, and meaningful things, from home decor to office supplies to electronic gadgets to daily accessories. So please, challenge yourselves. If it's your coworker's birthday, buy her some of that really neat yarn because you know she loves to knit. If you need a last minute mother's day gift, look into the newest novel by her favourite author. If your girlfriend starts screaming at you for no apparent reason, give her a handwritten letter or a teddy bear to hold. (Still keep your relationship counsellor's number around, just in case.)
So please, think twice before you beeline to the chocolates section next time you have to pick out a gift. Anything remotely personalized is better than the generic, and who knows, you might save her a lot more hassle than you think.
We've all heard it before: if it's your coworker's birthday, buy her chocolate. If you need a last minute mother's day gift, head to the chocolate aisle. If your girlfriend starts screaming at you for no apparent reason, seriously consider keeping a stash of chocolate around at all times. (Maybe also consider seeing a relationship counsellor.) But the point is, the gift of chocolate is a great one, for no matter what event or which female recipient. But is it really?
I'd like to take a moment to scowl at society. Who thought it was a good idea to standardize the giving of chocolate to women on every occasion and then shine a searing spotlight on physical appearance?
And so begins the conundrum: a kind-hearted soul gives a woman a box of chocolate. What does she do with it? She has several options.
Option 1: she eats the chocolate, but then feels guilty for indulging and becomes increasingly self-conscious about her body.
Option 2: she puts the chocolates on a shelf and they sit there, prettily collecting dust until they expire. She feels bad for letting them go to waste.
Option 3: she gives them away to the next girl when the next appropriate occasion rolls around (she doesn't have to wait very long). Again, she feels bad for not appreciating the gift. She's also just pushing her troubles to the people around her, and that's not going to solve anything.
At this point, you, being the keen observer that you are, note that none of the aforementioned scenarios end in a completely satisfying manner. The solution to the chocolate problem, in my opinion, comes not from the poor recipient of the chocolate, but from the kind giver. In no way do I wish to deter these generous people from expressing themselves through gifts, don't get me wrong, but there are endless things in the world to offer! There are practical, unique, and meaningful things, from home decor to office supplies to electronic gadgets to daily accessories. So please, challenge yourselves. If it's your coworker's birthday, buy her some of that really neat yarn because you know she loves to knit. If you need a last minute mother's day gift, look into the newest novel by her favourite author. If your girlfriend starts screaming at you for no apparent reason, give her a handwritten letter or a teddy bear to hold. (Still keep your relationship counsellor's number around, just in case.)
So please, think twice before you beeline to the chocolates section next time you have to pick out a gift. Anything remotely personalized is better than the generic, and who knows, you might save her a lot more hassle than you think.
Wednesday 30 April 2014
Milestones: Summer 2014 Letter Series
A.M. You have been nothing but wonderful since the day I met you. You are funny, sassy, and so, so supportive. Thank you for teaching me so much this past year --I learned so much more than I expected to-- and thank you for always being around when I needed you. I know there's some things this year that haven't worked out the way you wanted them to, but don't lose faith in yourself. A huge part of me wants to see you go on your great adventure, but there's a part that can't help but hope you'll stick around for a little while longer. Either way, I hope you catch the stars you've been shooting for.
B.W. You had me at 'hello'. By the first time you smiled and said 'hi', I was intrigued.You are one of the kindest and sweetest people I've met in a while. I've always felt like just another face in the crowd, but you've taught me that perhaps reaching out to people can be as easy as a smile and the word 'hi'. I guess I have a lot to learn from your easy-going, charismatic personality. I'd really like to get to know you better. Keep smiling :)
C.L. You are such an inspiration to me. You have such a bright and open attitude; it makes you so easy to talk to. Whenever I'm around you I feel so much more motivated to keep myself healthier and happier. I love that you have an absolute vision for your personal and professional future -- and the work ethic to back it up. I'm really glad I got a chance to know you this year, but I can't believe you're leaving already! I'd love to stay in touch and get together again sometime.
C.K. I love the way you present yourself; you're so mature and soft spoken. Everything you say and do makes so much sense. You have a calm levelheadedness about you, yet you're not at all cold or unapproachable. In a place where a lot of people seem to come from relatively similar backgrounds, you quietly yet poignantly remind me that everyone has their own unique story, and this is what sets us apart from each other. Although I don't know much about your past, I know that it's made you thoughtful and cautious, and this may not be such a bad thing. Through your example, I hope I may always remember to keep an open mind and be reminded that few words are often more powerful than many. I hope you continue to face every challenge with a brave heart and a steady mind.
N.L. You are the ultimate role model. You are dedicated as a student, elegant as a lady, caring as a sister. Beyond that, you are talented, kind, and ambitious. You're the kind of girl who looks beautiful in a spotlight, but always directs it humbly towards others. I admire that you have chosen to pursue what you believe suits you best, despite the objections of others. I admire that you take risks for your happiness and success, because I know you can make it all worth it. But while chasing your big dreams, you always seem to find time to pursue your passions and appreciate the little things in life. Your life is a palette of the richest colours; I hope continue to paint with every single one of them.
R.S. I'm so glad I met you on that trip. You make every possible thing more fun. I can always count on you to cheer me up and share a laugh, and I really appreciate that. I love that you're up for anything, and you're not afraid to put yourself out there, especially for your friends. But despite all the craziness, you always know when to set it all aside and take responsibility. It's a hard balance to strike sometimes, but you do it admirably well. I hope your lively spirit never fades. Thank you for all the adventures; here's to many more.
B.W. You had me at 'hello'. By the first time you smiled and said 'hi', I was intrigued.You are one of the kindest and sweetest people I've met in a while. I've always felt like just another face in the crowd, but you've taught me that perhaps reaching out to people can be as easy as a smile and the word 'hi'. I guess I have a lot to learn from your easy-going, charismatic personality. I'd really like to get to know you better. Keep smiling :)
C.L. You are such an inspiration to me. You have such a bright and open attitude; it makes you so easy to talk to. Whenever I'm around you I feel so much more motivated to keep myself healthier and happier. I love that you have an absolute vision for your personal and professional future -- and the work ethic to back it up. I'm really glad I got a chance to know you this year, but I can't believe you're leaving already! I'd love to stay in touch and get together again sometime.
C.K. I love the way you present yourself; you're so mature and soft spoken. Everything you say and do makes so much sense. You have a calm levelheadedness about you, yet you're not at all cold or unapproachable. In a place where a lot of people seem to come from relatively similar backgrounds, you quietly yet poignantly remind me that everyone has their own unique story, and this is what sets us apart from each other. Although I don't know much about your past, I know that it's made you thoughtful and cautious, and this may not be such a bad thing. Through your example, I hope I may always remember to keep an open mind and be reminded that few words are often more powerful than many. I hope you continue to face every challenge with a brave heart and a steady mind.
N.L. You are the ultimate role model. You are dedicated as a student, elegant as a lady, caring as a sister. Beyond that, you are talented, kind, and ambitious. You're the kind of girl who looks beautiful in a spotlight, but always directs it humbly towards others. I admire that you have chosen to pursue what you believe suits you best, despite the objections of others. I admire that you take risks for your happiness and success, because I know you can make it all worth it. But while chasing your big dreams, you always seem to find time to pursue your passions and appreciate the little things in life. Your life is a palette of the richest colours; I hope continue to paint with every single one of them.
R.S. I'm so glad I met you on that trip. You make every possible thing more fun. I can always count on you to cheer me up and share a laugh, and I really appreciate that. I love that you're up for anything, and you're not afraid to put yourself out there, especially for your friends. But despite all the craziness, you always know when to set it all aside and take responsibility. It's a hard balance to strike sometimes, but you do it admirably well. I hope your lively spirit never fades. Thank you for all the adventures; here's to many more.
Wednesday 22 May 2013
Stop.
Stop the breathing.
Stop the blood flow.
Stop the heartbeat.
Stop the tears.
Stop the emotion.
Stop.
Stop the fears, the thoughts, the voices, the echos, the sounds, thedarknesstheunknowntheflashbackstheemptinesstheabyssthescreamsthecries-
Stop.
Stop the blood flow.
Stop the heartbeat.
Stop the tears.
Stop the emotion.
Stop.
Stop the fears, the thoughts, the voices, the echos, the sounds, thedarknesstheunknowntheflashbackstheemptinesstheabyssthescreamsthecries-
Stop.
Friday 26 April 2013
Borrowed Words: I Hope This Only Happens In My Nightmares
I said,
"I'm lost without you
And I can't breathe without you
And I can't love without you
But I'm leaving you now"
You've been talking in your sleep
Things you never say to me...
You used to lie so close to me
Now there's nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love
Is it time to let you go?
If this was a movie,
I'd say
"Turn around, come back, so I don't dream without you"
And I promise I will make you want to stay
But I don't know
How to be something you'd miss
I'm lost 'cause you're the only thing I know
It hurts to let you go.
I can already see you
Sleeping next to a new lover
Sharing your dreams with another
And all I can think is
You won't find this
But I don't know how to be something you'd miss
I don't know
How to be something you'd miss
Because I never thought we'd have a last kiss
Your name, forever the name on my lips
"I'm lost without you
And I can't breathe without you
And I can't love without you
But I'm leaving you now"
You've been talking in your sleep
Things you never say to me...
You used to lie so close to me
Now there's nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love
Is it time to let you go?
If this was a movie,
I'd say
"Turn around, come back, so I don't dream without you"
And I promise I will make you want to stay
But I don't know
How to be something you'd miss
I'm lost 'cause you're the only thing I know
It hurts to let you go.
I can already see you
Sleeping next to a new lover
Sharing your dreams with another
And all I can think is
You won't find this
But I don't know how to be something you'd miss
If we fall apart
Please remember me at my best
Because the best part of me was always you
And you can keep my heart
It's more at home in your hand
Than in my chest
And you can keep my heart
It's more at home in your hand
Than in my chest
I don't know
How to be something you'd miss
Because I never thought we'd have a last kiss
Your name, forever the name on my lips
That last kiss I'll cherish
Until we meet again
I'll keep you in my memory;
I hope you think of me.
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