Torn

I'm spending
my entire life suspending
in a violent tornado, blending
my love and hate, pretending
to get along. I'm torn, the tension is ascending;
I'm on my own, defending
both warring sides unbending,
still I'm apprehending
I try so hard, intending
to fix the trauma, lending
myself to the offending
sides, but my this is never ending
and my hope is fast descending
why can't these wounds be mending
instead of ever extending?
where is all this sending
me?